U r online for tooooo long when....

** Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

** When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a search function to get to the point.

** Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."

** When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing your response.

** You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there's nothing there.

** You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

** You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.

** You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out."

** Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

** You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet "sweet_girl" face-to-face.

** You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.

** You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.

** You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences.

** You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.

** When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"

** You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the night when your spouse is asleep.

** You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you're online again.

** You know more about online friends' daily routines than you do your own spouse's.

** You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.

** You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to your own.

** You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much than the truth.

** You change your screen name so much that you have to do a who is to know who you are.

** You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.

** You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.

** Your dog leaves you.

** You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.

** You type faster than you can think.

** You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie.

** You don't want to leave in case you miss something.

** You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to check your mail and while there you "just wanted to see who was online."