"Why Aren't You Married Yet?"

** You haven't asked yet.

** I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

** Because I just love hearing this question.

** Just lucky, I guess.

** It gives my mother something to live for.

** My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole.

** I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.

** Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?

** I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

** It didn't seem worth a blood test.

** I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

** Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

** My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.

** I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

** They just opened a great singles bar on my block.

** I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

** I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

** What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

** I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

** Why aren't you thin?

** I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

(Bonus reply for Single Mothers)
** Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.