Fun Enclave
 
Search 






Not a member?
Register now!



Help!!

This is a discussion on Help!! within the Horror Story Contest forums, part of the BookWorm category; Help!! James was the father of four children. He was very poor and lived in village with his family. All ...

Reply
SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend   > The Lounge > BookWorm > Horror Story Contest
  #1 (permalink)  
 Old 16 Mar 09, 08:00 PM
C.Ronaldo's Avatar
In Solitude
 
C.Ronaldo has passed FE Fun College with honours!C.Ronaldo has passed FE Fun College with honours!C.Ronaldo has passed FE Fun College with honours!C.Ronaldo has passed FE Fun College with honours!C.Ronaldo has passed FE Fun College with honours!C.Ronaldo has passed FE Fun College with honours!C.Ronaldo has passed FE Fun College with honours!
Rep Power: 23
Nickels: 12,186.32
Bank: 12,857.97
Happy valentine's day - Ninja Wacky Answer Contest Winner !!! - xXx 
Default Help!!

Help!!


James was the father of four children. He was very poor and lived in village with his family. All he owned was just a two-roomed house and one horse. Once in a month James used to go to a city to buy some stuff for the family. Generally he used to go at morning and return back before sunset.

But today the case was little different. He was late and now he was coming back to village after it was dark. He was riding on his horse thinking about his future life. He used to work 14 hours in a farm and still his earning was not enough to meet the needs of his family. His children were very young and he can’t put them on work and had to manage all himself. He was lost deep in his thoughts and didn’t realize that when he entered the jungle. As he came out of his thoughts and saw the jungle, a wave of fear went to his body. It was the first time he was traveling through a jungle in a night time and was alone.

Today the tall trees, under which he used to stay at day time when traveling to take rest, seemed monsters to him. They seemed long, fearful creatures and the dense branches seemed to be their hands waiting to catch him. The wild bushes, on which he today itself grazed his horse when he stopped to take rest, seemed the shelter and walls behind which wild beasts were waiting to catch him. Suddenly he felt some tiny creature or insect moving on his nape. He quickly moved his hand their but realized that it wasn’t any insect; instead they were some drops of sweat running down. He moved his hand on his face and when his hand came back it was all wet and shiny. He was sweating very much and was looking afraid of the silent jungle environment. Only sound he could hear was the tapping of horse’s feet.

He hit the horse on it’s back to increase its speed. Also he took the water bottle out to drink some water. He was controlling horse with one hand and drinking water from another, which wasn’t a good idea. Mistakenly, the water bottle from his hand slipped down under the horse creating a strange noise in silent jungle. Noise didn’t cause much trouble but the bottle, which fell down, came under horse’s back feet and misbalanced it. James felled down. Horse stopped running and came back to his owner. James wasn’t hurt but the event added some more fear in his mind. He quickly seated himself on horse’s back and this time hit it again and again causing it to run furiously.

He wanted this journey to end as soon as possible but today it seemed that earth was expanding every second increasing the distance. Going the way he heard a sound of goat, coming from some distance. His hands unwontedly, slowed down the horse. Moving forward, he saw a Goat’s kid shouting and seeing him. He understood that sound would be coming from here. His soft heart agreed to help the kid and he picked it up and settled it in front of him. He felt little better as he saved the little kid from being killed by any wild beasts, but the reality was somewhat different. It would have been only five minutes when he felt some movement. As he looked at the kid he was shocked and a wave of fear went along him. What he saw was that the back legs of that kid were increasing in the size and were just some centimeters away from earth. The only idea he got was to pick it and throw back. He did it and hit the horse non-stop running it like hell. James realized that it was a ghost and it can follow him. He tried all the best and horse also ran furiously. James was shivering and by now all his body was wet of sweat. He didn’t looked back and only stopped after reaching the home. He entered the house with face as white as milk His wife asked him about what happened, and also got afraid after listening. James caught fever and it took many days to him to get back to normal life. He just camelback from the mouth of death! The entire event remained printed in his mind and he stopped going through that jungle!
----------------------------------------------
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
 Old 16 Mar 09, 09:36 PM
Bluffmaster's Avatar
Everybody Lies
 
Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.Bluffmaster is a board member of FE Fun College.
Rep Power: 36
Nickels: 2,472.26
Bank: 13,955.66
Ae lo,paa ji.Ab tashn maaro..:ohyeah: :D - Private Ryan Take ur holi gift :lol: - knoughtyd For being a good friend :) - Ninja for opening always meaningful threads - Aero Congrats MR... - Kimi 
Default Re: Help!!

The Environment was nicely created. The goat part was chilling and was a surprise. Considering your age, its not a bad effort at all.
Repped.

My Rating : 2/5
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
 Old 16 Mar 09, 09:49 PM
bottle's Avatar
FE TrendSetter
 
bottle is a lecturer at FE Fun College.bottle is a lecturer at FE Fun College.bottle is a lecturer at FE Fun College.bottle is a lecturer at FE Fun College.bottle is a lecturer at FE Fun College.bottle is a lecturer at FE Fun College.bottle is a lecturer at FE Fun College.bottle is a lecturer at FE Fun College.
Rep Power: 12
Nickels: 4,212.00
Bank: 0.00
Default Re: Help!!

hehe good story, as bluffy said nice mood setting
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
 Old 16 Mar 09, 10:11 PM
Private Ryan's Avatar
FE Prodigy
 
Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.Private Ryan is a board member of FE Fun College.
Rep Power: 39
Nickels: 1,963.00
Bank: 0.00
for useless fellow coming back :P - Agnel For your wonderful Poem :) - Ninja For the :evilish: avatar :lol: - Ninja Happy valentine's day - Ninja This may be my last gift :P - Ninja 
Default Re: Help!!

Nice story,Ronnie. Yup,i agree with Bluffy,the environment setup was
_______________________________________
Private Ryan's Signature:


Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
 Old 16 Mar 09, 11:58 PM
Ninja's Avatar
Fight for survival!
 
Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.Ninja is a board member of FE Fun College.
Rep Power: 39
Nickels: 1,627.36
Bank: 7,765.41
Thanks saar :D Wish you the same. - Agnel Thanks :D - Blade_Runner For being such a wonderful pal.Enjoy it :P - heathcliff Chal yeh leh tera TREAT :ashamed:!!! - stridEr A Great Buddy!! - Bluffmaster 
Nature Lover - Lets Save Mother Earth! - Ninja 
Default Re: Help!!

Wow Ronnie! what narration, bahut badiya yaar!
_______________________________________
Ninja's Signature:

http://www.funenclave.com/signaturepics/sigpic13106_8.gif
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
 Old 17 Mar 09, 12:47 AM
Agnel's Avatar
"Nothing exists"
 
Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!Agnel is Director of FE Fun College!
Rep Power: 55
Nickels: 2,887.40
Bank: 27,906.77
This may be my last gift :P - Ninja aish shots were awesome mate, thank-you! - patch01 Happy Birthday! Have a wonderful year ahead! Have a blast! :D - C.Ronaldo Happy Birthday Bro... - Kimi Happy Birthday Agni! :) - Ayesha M 
Default Re: Help!!

Good one ronnie boi
All the best for the future
_______________________________________
Agnel's Signature:

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;
and the pessimist fears this is true
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
 Old 17 Mar 09, 10:11 AM
Safin's Avatar
*****
 
Award Medal
Safin is board member at FE Fun University.
Safin is board member at FE Fun University.Safin is board member at FE Fun University.Safin is board member at FE Fun University.Safin is board member at FE Fun University.Safin is board member at FE Fun University.Safin is board member at FE Fun University.Safin is board member at FE Fun University.
Rep Power: 61
Nickels: 19,727.00
Bank: 0.00
HAPPY BIRTHDAY...!!!! - knoughtyd Aapki B'day ki khushi mein chalo coffee peene chalte hain..:jason: - Private Ryan Happy valentine's day - Ninja For makin me bankrupt. :X - Sandeep Happy Birthday Sir! :D - C.Ronaldo 
Default Re: Help!!

Ronnie, Good one
I liked the build up
_______________________________________
Safin's Signature:

Have Fun, Take part in debates, Read jokes, Ogle at Celebs; Just follow the Rules!

“There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.”
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
 Old 17 Mar 09, 10:40 AM
xXx's Avatar
xXx xXx is offline
Red Devil !!!
 
xXx is board member at FE Fun University.
xXx is board member at FE Fun University.xXx is board member at FE Fun University.xXx is board member at FE Fun University.xXx is board member at FE Fun University.xXx is board member at FE Fun University.xXx is board member at FE Fun University.
Rep Power: 66
Nickels: 604.00
Bank: 35,927.81
Default Re: Help!!

The Tension build up was
The ending was pale....you cud have build it up more towards the end and made it more fearsome...but even though...a great story
_______________________________________
xXx's Signature:

Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
 Old 17 Mar 09, 11:23 AM
medpal's Avatar
FE Fanatic
 
medpal is a doctorate of fun!medpal is a doctorate of fun!medpal is a doctorate of fun!medpal is a doctorate of fun!medpal is a doctorate of fun!medpal is a doctorate of fun!medpal is a doctorate of fun!medpal is a doctorate of fun!medpal is a doctorate of fun!
Send a message via Yahoo to medpal
Rep Power: 16
Nickels: 1,293.00
Bank: 3,232.13
Happy valentine's day - Ninja 
Default Re: Help!!

build up was fine, but the end was like bollywood films, sudden and listless.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
 Old 17 Mar 09, 12:09 PM
honeybee's Avatar
FE SuperSpammer
 
Award Medal
honeybee has passed FE Fun College with honours!honeybee has passed FE Fun College with honours!honeybee has passed FE Fun College with honours!honeybee has passed FE Fun College with honours!honeybee has passed FE Fun College with honours!honeybee has passed FE Fun College with honours!
Rep Power: 17
Nickels: 1,060.62
Bank: 15,000.00
For giving FE some awesome smileys :) - Agnel 
Default Re: Help!!

Thanks Ronnie pal, this was so well done...
Reply With Quote
Reply

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 01:38 AM.
Photo ShootsEmail ForwardsClean JokesIndia TravelSMS Jokes

Sitemap |  Lite Gallery
Privacy Policy |  Terms of Service |  Rules
About FunEnclave.com

FunEnclave is your gateway to fun and entertainment. FunEnclave is a buzzing, clean and safe community that offers jokes, funny forwards, wallpapers, games, a discussion portal, fantasy leagues and a lot more.
Enjoy your stay and have Fun!
Copyright ©2009 FunEnclave.com, All Rights Reserved. Design © Private Ryan, For FunEnclave.
vBulletin, Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO © 2009, Crawlability, Inc.
no new posts