Man,Woman and Child ( Winner of Horror Story Contest )

Agnel

Originally Posted by C.Ronaldo

sequel I know but wats that prequel

A prequel is a work that portrays events and/or aspects of a previously completed narrative, but is set prior to the existing narrative.

Source : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prequel

Something like the 'past' of the story

, sequel is 'future'

C.Ronaldo

Ok..........Thnx 4 knowing me abt this

Safin

God what a story

You actually wrote that

Damn

Are you a fan of "The Haunting" on discovery or something

The mother child angle i have actually seen on the series

How many days you spent writing this

Anyway to the story itself it was brilliant. Had all that one could ask from a horror story. The buildup was very good and although some situations were cliched

(the end

the supposed dream and the girl in the bathroom mirror

)

I am amazed at your narrative, your use of conversational speech and indeed the settings. Like yammy i am impressed by the attention to detail in describing the settings. Its no short story and i gave a groan at the length of it when i started, but it was fast paced and pacy that i couldn't take a sneak peek at splitsvilla

Billo Rani

Cha Gaye Mamu

(Now i am never going to submit stories here

Damn everyone is a chuppa rustam oops author here

)

Agnel

Originally Posted by Safin

but it was fast paced and pacy that i couldn't take a sneak peek at splitsvilla

Good that you didn't watch it.
Else all the splitsvilla girls would have looked like "Emma"

Private Ryan

Originally Posted by Ninja

Fantastic story Ryan, awesome talent you've got.

The other possible conclusion,the ghost of Anna and Emma were actually haunting him.They wanted revenge for what happened in the tunnel,that night. And driving him insane, and making him kill himself was their way of taking revenge. The scene in the end around the dinner table, with Emma talking to Anna meant, they were not afterall, a mere figment of his imagination.

Why revenge, he took them coz he wanted to see Anna happy. According to the plot even Anna was happy moving over to the island.

Loki, thank you so much,yaar..

I am glad, you enjoyed reading this overtly long yawning 'horror' story..

About that revenge part, i gave an explanation in the concluding part of that post..

"Why does Anna say that he 'killed' them both in the tunnel,that night? In the starting of the story,i mentioned the vehicle hitting the rock, and then the tunnel caving in.Anna was going insane with the baby,and her constant murmuring annoyed Dylan. Maybe,Dylan and Anna had an altercation,that led to the accident,and the death of both the mother and the unborn child. "

Anna's strange obsession with the baby was clearly worrying Dylan.He thought,she was going insane.But that wouldnt affect Anna.She was always in her own world,murmuring to herself. The city was driving her mad.She desperately wanted to get out. And talking to herself (or the child)was her way of giving a vent to her loneliness.

Something that clearly annoyed/worried Dylan. An altercation on the way to the bay island could have been the reason for the death of his wife and his unborn child.

But i am not clearing that.

Its just a possible conclusion of why did she say so..

Agnel

^ Tie up your loose ends

Usual excuse for all the authors to say that

Private Ryan · 01:14 AM

A few clarifications..

Originally Posted by Agnel

Originally Posted by Private Ryan

...........................

A few questions were left unanswered,intentionally.

................

Who was the woman in the middle of the road,who was crushed under the truck? Was she human,evil or possessed.Who was the father of the child? A human or..? Was she there to commit suicide? I left her in the dark completely. Giving details about that woman would have taken away the creepiness of that character.

The loose ends makes it looks like the creepiness had no source
It must begin somewhere... like, Dylan had a girl friend who got pregnant with his child, but he left that girl and ran away?

Better finish off the lose ends

I need a sequel, prequel... what ever

Actually giving the woman who died in the accident under the truck a relation to Dylan would have made it cliched like any other horror movie..

It would have become Raaz then..

Not every ghost has a reason to haunt a particular human being..

The reason why i am saying this is cos,take for instance, the case of Emily Rose. She was possessed by 6 demons.Among them was a ghost of a 17th century priest,and also Hitler (that is what she would tell the exorcists).Obviously, the ghosts had no relation to her.Then why were they tormenting her soul?

I wanted to give the same treatment to the story.

Its just coincidence that the woman died on the very night and at that very place.But she was not related to Dylan or Anna in anyway..

And to think of it, that woman was not a ghost.

I didnt mention it anywhere that she was a ghost.I just left that character in the dark.She was very much human and died in an accident. But what was in her womb,and who was her father..a human being or..? That is something,i leave the reader to decide.

Originally Posted by Ninja

Originally Posted by Agnel

It must begin somewhere... like, Dylan had a girl friend who got pregnant with his child, but he left that girl and ran away?

I was expecting it to end on that lines actually, especially when i read the line below.

That night,in two separate wards, two lives had perished.A mother and a child. And two lives had survived.A mother and a child.

I thought Ryan would relate this in the end, but then if he did that we would have blamed him for being predictable. Its still a damn good story.

This line.."That night,in two separate wards, two lives had perished.A mother and a child. And two lives had survived.A mother and a child." was actually just to add an element of creepiness to the situation in the hospital.

In two separate wards,two complete strangers had given birth.Only difference was,apart from the creepy similarity of their accidents, and ending up in the hospital at the same time, there was nothing relating the two. Two operations happened in two separate wards. In one, the mother survived and a child died. And in the other, the mother died and the child survived.

Private Ryan

Originally Posted by C.Ronaldo

story!! Great thinking and Imagination! Ryan you wrote like a real novel writer!

Thanks,

Originally Posted by imunique

Ryan, it's like a complete one and half hour movie ..fab effort.. and Man is this the reason u keep awake late at nights..
enjoyed reading indeed

Thanks,Di.

Look who is talking.

Is that why you stay awake too,di?

Originally Posted by heathcliff

I dont understand that smiley language.

Thanks,Peeru.

Private Ryan

Originally Posted by xXx

You are a Very Good Compositor, as can be seen in pictures & the story as well

Narration....

the screenplay was excellent & the character build up was too good. the background of the characters were brief but necessary to get us involved in the story. there were loose ends, which you covered up in the above post of yours
also as yammy mentioned lifted from horror flicks, it seemed to me the same.

but that shud not be of any hindrance as the tension lets you forget many of those shortcomings

grammatical errors otherwise the atmosphere build up was amazing. you are glued to know what happens next, not for the ending, but for the story it certainly deserves its accolades.

definitely a continuation would suffice us