Sisyphus!!

heathcliff

“Run, run. Don’t stop. Don’t look back. Just keep running as if you were to catch the last bus home.” His first impulse after confronting that nightmare was to keep running.There was no turn to take. It was like a pitch dark, endless long tunnel.
Suddenly there was a big jolt. He experienced a hard tap on his shoulder.
“That silly dream of yours again, is it?” cried Urvashi. A long monotonous howl of a dog made him sit right up in the bed. He himself was panting like a thirsty dog. Their relationship had something ‘je ne sais quoi’ about it. On the 25th of last month, they had celebrated their sixth marriage anniversary. But Vimal never felt himself married to this woman who went to bed with him every night. Somehow in her face he could make out all those dreadful nightmares coming alive all over again. He still vividly remembered their first night. Urvashi was the love of his life. They had dated each other for 3 years before walking down the aisle. Urvashi was dressed in a blood red sari. He sat beside her and lifted his hand to unveil that beautiful face. He recoiled back as shockingly as if stung by a venomous serpent. In place of red-lipped, kohl-eyed bride; he witnessed that disfigured face once again. He was petrified, so was Urvashi. She couldn’t figure out the reason for Vimal’s erratic behavior. She gazed at him with utter contempt. He gave out a cry of horror. To him, Urvashi seemed to be possessed by a spirit. The spirit that was his nemesis.

All his cris de Coeur for a comforting embrace fell on deaf ears.

His reverie was broken by a sudden sobbing sound. Urvashi had already slipped back into her sleep. That familiar s,ob was drawing him near. He got up and climbed the stairs. A small room on the first floor was his ultimate refuge as well as a dreadfully scary torment. Walls damped due to rain and an ear-piercing silence added to the poignancy of the room. As he opened the door, moist odour filled his nostrils. A lizard on the front wall was all ready to pounce on a small insect. Vimal wished he was that insect. He so wanted to be engulfed. To be swallowed by the darkness. In the middle was a bed. Right opposite to the bed was a full length mirror. He dropped himself on the bed as if desperate to get rid of the load he was carrying. The load of all those nightmares. The load of that night that harbinged these restless days and nights in his life. Sometimes he thought of running away. But the idea seemed puerile. How could he run away from his own self? The room was dark except those moon beams which filtered their way in through a small window. He lifted his droopy head and looked into the mirror.
She was right there. Face crushed beyond recognition. Upper limbs amputated. But her eyes were seeking his. Blood-red eyes. He startled. But realizing he had no place to hide, he kept his ground. Those eyes wanted an answer from him. That answer he long was denying and she long was seeking. Her eyes were a mirror, a gruesome chronicle of his infernal life. For in her eyes, he could recollect every single day he was living under fear. He recounted how Urvashi had almost pushed him down the steep mountain while they were honey-mooning in Shimla. That evil smile on her face when Vimal was luckily pulled up by the fellow tourists, made a chill run down his spine. Whenever he made love to her, she appeared like a corpse. Every night he came home from work, he would find Urvashi upstairs in that dark room. Her hair would be untied covering her face. Though Vimal remembered how irritated she used to feel with loose hair.

The road was almost deserted. It was only 8:30 in the evening but world cup fever had gripped the whole city. Vimal was returning home after a day out with friends. Instead of taking a taxi he chose to walk as it was a pleasant evening. But that evening had something sinister about it. The cool pleasant breeze seemed to kiss uncovered flesh on his body. Towards his left stood a row of hedges muttering amongst themselves. A few meters ahead of him, was a girl walking briskly. There was complete silence. Suddenly a car zoomed past Vimal and in a jiffy he heard a suffocated shriek. The girl was lying in a pool of blood. Vimal ran towards her. She was still alive. Her eyes seemed so pregnant with a speech that they conveyed everything to Vimal. She wanted him to note down the car’s number. She wanted him to inform her family and she wanted him to save her life. For her eyes were still sparkling as if she knew there is still hope. In this moment of trepidity, Vimal lost his senses. He wanted to help her. But he got up and started running. He ran like he had seen a ghost. He was running away from that girl. He was running away from his conscience. But that’s all he could do. He was just a poor accountant earning a meager salary. Moreover, tomorrow was his engagement. Helping that girl would have meant endless visits to police station and court. He just couldn’t.

His engagement was postponed. Early in the morning that day he received a call from Urvashi that her sister had passed way. As he listened to this news, last night’s incident flashed across his mind.
When he returned from the funeral, he knew he was guilty. He let Vaishali die. Two months later he got married to Urvashi. But life was never the same again. Urvashi who loved him so much turned into an embittered wife overnight.
He never could fathom why? And once in every fortnight he came face to face with that dreadful night.

He looked into the mirror. She wasn’t there anymore. Suddenly he felt a tight grip on his shoulder. His breath got stuck midway. She lowered her face towards him. Mouth shut, eyes speaking. That rhetorical question – ‘why’? He knew that she knows that he hasn’t got an answer. But that was her way of tormenting his soul, of making him go through that pain, that horror. He also knew that she will never stop asking that question. She will always be an albatross around his neck. The door creaked open. A shadow walked out. He was alone now, pro tem. For she will be back to haunt him again. And he will be there to get haunted. For that was his only penance.