Bad santa
>*Deer Santa, **
>> > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud
>>boy all
>> > yeer.
>>Yer Friend,
>>Billy *
>> >
>> > * Dear Billy, **
>> > Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare.
>>How about
>> >I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving
>>your
>>older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. *
>> >
>> >* Santa **
>> >************************************************* ****
>> >*Dear Santa, **
>> > I have been a good girl all year, and the only
>>thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
>> > Love, Sarah
>> >
>> >**Dear Sarah, **
>> > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
>> >
>> > Santa
>> >************************************************* ***
>> >*Dear Santa, **
>> > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd
>>like for
>> >my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can
>>do. *
>> >
>> >* Love, Teddy **
>> >
>> >**Dear Teddy, **
>> > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door
>>in a
>> > hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
>>your
>> > frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up
>>that dream.
>> > Let me send you some Legos instead.
>> >
>> > Santa
>> >************************************************* ***
>> >*Dear Santa, **
>> > I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I.
>>Joes, a dog, a
>> > drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
>> > Love, Francis
>> >
>> >**Dear Francis, **
>> > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay.
>>I'll set you
>> >up with a Barbie.
>> >
>> > Santa
>> >************************************************* ***
>> >*Dear Santa, **
>> > I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
>>carrots
>> > for your reindeer outside the back door.
>> > Love, Susan
>> >
>> >**Dear Susan, **
>> > Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in
>>my face
>> > when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a
>>bottle of
>> > Scotch.
>> >
>> > Santa *
>> >************************************************* ***
>> >*Dear Santa, **
>> > What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
>>making
>> >toys?
>> > Your friend, Thomas
>> >*
>> >*Dear Thomas, **
>> > All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas
>>where I spend
>> > most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
>>drinking
>> >myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while
>>losing
>> >money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
>> >
>> > Santa *
>> >************************************************* ***
>> >*Dear Santa, **
>> > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when
>>we're
>> >awake, like in the song?
>> > Love, Jessica
>> >*
>> >*Dear Jessica, **
>> > Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
>>I'm
>> > skipping your house.
>> >
>> > Santa
>> >
>> >************************************************* ****
>> >*Dear Santa, **
>> > I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please,
>>PLEASE,
>> > PLEASE could I have one?
>> > Love, Timmy
>> >
>> >**Dear Timmy, **
>> > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that
>>crap
>> > doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
>> >
>> > Santa *
>> >
>> >************************************************* ***
>> >*Dearest Santa, **
>> > We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into
>>our home?
>> > Love, Marky
>> >
>> >**Dear Mark, **
>> > First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're
>>getting your
>> > ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you
>>live in a
>> > low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
>>like the
>> > boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
>> >
>> > Sweet dreams,
>> > Santa *
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Re: Bad santa
all bad santas here 
