Engineers
>Subject: Engineers
>*********************************************** **
>Comprehending Engineers-First Take
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>Two engineering students were walking across campus
>when one said,
>"Where
>did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
>replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding
>my own business
>when a
>beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the
>bike to the ground,
>took
>off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
>"The second engineer nodded approvingly, 'Good choice;
>the clothes
>probably wouldn't have fit."
>
>*********************************************** **
>Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
>*********************************************** **
>
>To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
>pessimist, the glass is
>half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big
>as it needs to
>be.
>
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>Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
>*********************************************** **
>A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one
>morning for a
>particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer
>fumed, "What's
>with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15
>minutes!" The
>doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen
>such ineptitude!"
>The
>pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's
>have a word with him." "Hi George. Say, what's with
>that group ahead of
>us?
>They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper
>replied, "Oh, yes,
>that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their
>sight saving our
>clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them
>play for free
>anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The
>pastor said, "That's
>so
>sad. I will say a special prayer for them
>tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going
>to contact my
>ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he
>can do for them."
>The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at
>night?"
>
>*********************************************** **
>Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
>*********************************************** **
>What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers
>and Civil
>Engineers?
>Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers
>build targets.
>
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>Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
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>The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it
>work?"
>The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How
>does it work?"
>The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much
>will it cost?"
>The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want
>fries with that?"
>
>*********************************************** **
>Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
>*********************************************** **
>Three engineering students were gathered together
>discussing the
>possible
>designers of the human body. One said, "It was a
>mechanical engineer.
>Just
>look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was
>an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
>thousands of
>electrical
>connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a
>civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste
>pipeline through a
>recreational area?"
>
>*********************************************** **
>Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
>*********************************************** **
>Normal people ... believe that if it isn't broke,
>don't fix it.
>Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't
>have enough
>features
>yet."
>
>*********************************************** **
>Comprehending Engineers-Take Eight
>*********************************************** **
>An architect, an artist and an engineer were
>discussing whether it was
>better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The
>architect said he
>enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
>foundation for an enduring
>relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his
>mistress,
>because of
>the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer
>said, "I like
>both."
>"Both?" The Engineer said: "Yeah. If you have a wife
>and a mistress,
>they
>will each assume you are spending time with the other
>woman, and you
>can go
>to the office and get some work done."
>
>*********************************************** **
>Comprehending Engineers-Take Nine
>*********************************************** **
>An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog
>called out to him
>and
>said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
>princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it
>in his pocket.
>The
>frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn
>me back into a
>beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one
>week." The engineer
>took
>the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
>it to the pocket.
>The
>frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back
>into a princess,
>I'll
>stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the
>engineer took the
>frog
>out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
>Finally, the frog
>asked,
>"What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful
>princess, that I'll
>stay
>with you for a week and do anything you want. Why
>won't you kiss me?"
>The
>engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have
>time for a
>girlfriend,
>but a talking frog......that's cool."
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