Viva La Blonde!

Viva La Blonde!


Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........
and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther
away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida...?????"


CAR TROUBLE


A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I
have to do that?"


SPEEDING TICKET


A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if
he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys
would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and
then today you expect me to show it to you!"


RIVER WALK


There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to
the
other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back,
"You ARE on the other side."


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE


A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
her
body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor.
"Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast
and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She
pushed
her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're
not
really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a
blonde" "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."


KNITTING


A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind
the
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back,
"IT'S
A SCARF!"


BLONDE ON THE SUN


A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were
the
first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at
night!"


IN A VACUUM


A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was,
"If
you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"


FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!


A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one
was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?" HELLLOOOOOOO......,"
answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"