Why did the Chicken cross the road?

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

Peoples answer to "Why did the Chicken cross the road?":

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where’s my gun?

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

Nice post Hypnot. Hope to see more such posts from u

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Ninja's Signature:

good one nice post

Some of them are reposts, but I guess you can deal with those

• Plato: For the greater good.
  
• Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side.
  
• Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
  
• Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
  
• Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
  
• Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
  
• Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
  
• Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
  
• Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
  
• Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
  
• Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
  
• B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
  
• Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
  
• Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
  
• Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
  
• Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
  
• Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
  
• Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
  
• Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
  
• Salvador Dali: The Fish.
  
• Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
  
• Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
  
• Epicurus: For fun.
  
• Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
  
• Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
  
• Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
  
• Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
  
• David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
  
• Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
  
• Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
  
• Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
  
• Ronald Reagan: Well,...................
  
• John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.
  
• The Sphinx: You tell me.
  
• Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
  
• Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
  
• Mishima: For the beauty of it. The chicken's extension of its sinuous legs sent shivers of a dark despair into the souls not only of the silently watching hens but also the roosters, who felt a sudden sexual desire for their exquisite comrade. The dark courage of the chicken was as beautiful as drops of dew upon jade at midnight, struck by a partial moon, its light filtered through clouds. One of the deeply aroused roosters could stand the intensity of the moment no more and bit off the head of the beautiful, courageous chicken-hero, whose wine blood was deliciously drunken by the road, and he died.
  
• Johnny Cochran: The chicken didn't cross the road. Some chicken-hating, genocidal, lying public official moved the road right under the chicken's feet while he was practicing his golf swing and thinking about his family.
  
• Camus: The chicken's mother had just died. But this did not really upset him, as any number of witnesses can attest. In fact, he crossed just because the sun got in his eyes.
  
• John Sununu (again): I would argue that the chicken never crossed the road at all. That it is a story concocted by the Clinton Administration to distract attention from their failed agriculture policy. Where is the evidence that the chicken crossed the road? Where, Michael?
  
• Michael Kinsley: Oh, John, come on! Everybody knows the chicken crossed the road. What evidence do you need? It's obvious that the chicken crossed the road. Your whole argument is just a smoke and mirror tactic to distract us from the fact that most chickens polled now back the Democratic Party. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, John.
  
• Siskel: I don't know why it crossed the road, but I loved it. Thumbs up!
  
• Ebert: I disagree. The whole thing left the audience wondering; the chicken's crossing the road was never clearly explained and the chicken didn't emote very well. It couldn't even speak English! Thumbs down.
  
• Michael Kinsley: But you both agree it did cross the road, right? See, John. I'm right as usual.

Isko kehte hain phatu post
Who will read all this crap now

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Safin's Signature:

Have Fun, Take part in debates, Read jokes, Ogle at Celebs; Just follow the Rules!

“There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.”

^^^

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xXx's Signature:

One day, some fool like you will come along, who will be searching for the never ending answer of why the heck did the damn chicken cross the road. At that point of time, this very post will be useful

hehehe loads of answers

yaa and i think you would be that fool cos i am sure you never read this one now

_______________________________________
Safin's Signature:

Have Fun, Take part in debates, Read jokes, Ogle at Celebs; Just follow the Rules!

“There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.”