Wife from Hell

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I
clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir.

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60,
perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly
dear,
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his
wife
and
growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your
radar
detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector
unit the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
"Damit,
woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing
your
seat
belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took
it
off
when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my
back
pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have
your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns
to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband
always
talk
to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."

mmm larkie givin out pointers

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SunnyBoi's Signature:

Shudnt the title read husband from hell?

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MA5K's Signature: