> Taxmen dress

The IRS called in a man for an audit. So, he asked his accountant for
advice on what to wear.

"Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you
are a pauper," the accountant replied.
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite
advice: "Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive
tie."

Confused, the man went to his minister, told him of the conflicting
advice, and asked him what he should do.

"Let me tell you a story," replied the minister. "A woman, about to be
married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. Her mother
said, 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck
and wool socks.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting
advice: 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down
to your navel.' "

The man protested: "But Reverend, what does all this have to do with my
problem with the IRS?"

"It doesn't matter what you wear; you're going to get screwed anyway."